I haven’t written (to finish) anything in the past three and a half to four years. I’d thought myself retired. I’d had it with the sniping and the bullying, of being not called a “real writer” by those in my community, whether it was the science fiction community or the romance one. After going through the Noble Romance debacle and enduring a lot in the years prior, I’d decided I’d had enough. The muse had gone somewhere–maybe Tahiti–and I decided I just couldn’t hack it as a writer anymore.
The years passed. Things did not get better. Samhain’s closing-not closing dance did not make it better at all given that they were one of the few publishers whom I trusted. In fact, the recent situation with Ellora’s Cave only brought it all rushing back. You see, back in 2007 on the top ranking blogs on my site back then (alas, I took down that website when I decided I was retired), was one talking about late checks. And yet, back then, just as now, many authors said that no – we were at fault. It wasn’t the company’s fault for paying late. And in fact, one of the biggest bullies back then just so happened to be one of the biggest authors screaming about not getting paid now. Color me not impressed. So with my depression and my cPTSD, the current debacle (They still owe me money since as of this writing the last check I received was in January for June – Sept 2015 sales, and I am still chasing down reverted books off of vendors.) only made it worse. Except, something was happening…
My Muse phoned from her vacation. I saw a call for submissions from an author whose work I admire, and it sparked something. A story. Now I haven’t heard back, but I did finish a short story and I submitted it — something that hadn’t even seemed possible in the months and years before.
And more stories are coming to life. I cannot say when or give any time frame, but there are stories perking. So I hope to bring you something new next year. So for those of you out there who are going through writing crap and wondering whether to give it up — don’t. After dealing with this for 14 years (and counting), I can tell you that you can take the time you need, but the muse will always come back. She’s persistent that way, and I hope you’re persistent too.